Alright, ladies, let’s keep it real: decluttering sounds amazing in theory, right? You imagine yourself like that chic minimalist on Instagram but in reality? You’re surrounded by clothes you swear you’ll wear one day and a collection of random items from Jumia orders you forgot to return.

No shade—we’ve all been there. If your inner “Organizing Goddess” is just “Queen of Procrastination,” then these decluttering tips are for you. Let’s simplify your home (and your mind) one small step at a time. And if you finish without taking a snack break, consider me impressed.

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1. The 5-Minute Rule: For When You’re Feeling Extra Lazy

Set a timer for 5 minutes, pick a corner (like that pile of unopened Jumia packages), and just… go. You’ll be shocked at how much you can clear up in that short burst. Plus, when the timer’s up, you’ve got a perfect excuse to flop back on the couch. You earned it, babe!

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2. “Do I Even Like This Thing?” Test

Pick up those cargo pants you bought at Tejuosho Market three years ago. Now, ask yourself: “Does this bring me joy?” If the answer is, “Not unless it’s magically turning into a plate of party Jollof right now,” toss it. Trust me, you won’t miss it.

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3. Clothes You’re “Totally Going to Wear Someday”

Let’s have an honest chat, sister. If you haven’t worn that aso-ebi you got for your cousin’s wedding since 2018, it’s time to let it go. Create a “nope” pile, and donate those clothes to someone who’ll wear them (and fit into them without breathing exercises 😂😂).

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4. The “You’re Never Going to Use This” Drawer

We all have that drawer. You know the one—filled with random USB cords, old socks, and a surprising number of bulletins. Empty it out, and only put back the stuff you actually use. Pro tip: Your 2010 Nokia charger isn’t making a comeback.

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5. The “One In, One Out” Rule

Next time you buy something new (because who can resist a Jumia Black Friday deal?), make sure you get rid of one old item. Bought a new pair of sneakers? Bye-bye, those shoes that make you walk like you’re testing the floor’s durability. It’s like a decluttering game—one that rewards you with more closet space and less chaos.

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6. Declutter While Watching Netflix

Listen, if you’re gonna binge-watch another season of Game of Thrones, why not multitask? Fold those clothes, sort through that stack of papers, or at least clear a path to your bed. Bonus points if you don’t get too distracted by Jon Snow (who by the way is a  Targaryen).

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7. The “Friends Don’t Let Friends Hoard” Challenge

Invite a brutally honest friend over (you know, that one who tells you your wig is crooked) and ask them to help you declutter. Friends don’t let friends keep six wooden spoons “just in case.” Plus, they’ll probably convince you to finally get rid of that dusty souvenir from your secondary school days.

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8. Use It or Lose It (a.k.a. Stop Hoarding Empty Plastic Containers)

Yes, those yoghurt cups are cute. But unless you’re opening a roadside bukka anytime soon, it’s time to toss ‘em. Same goes for that mountain of mismatched Tupperware lids. Seriously, where do they even go?

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9. Reward Yourself with a Treat

Because honestly, decluttering deserves a reward. For every room you tackle, treat yourself to a plate of small chops or a chilled Zobo. And no, that doesn’t mean buying another cute mug at Shoprite. The goal here is less stuff, remember?

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10. Repeat After Me: “Progress, Not Perfection”

Rome wasn’t decluttered in a day, and neither will your apartment in Lekki or Gbagada. The key is to start small, celebrate tiny wins, and remember that nobody’s home looks like those Instagram influencers 24/7. Embrace the messiness of life while slowly clearing out what doesn’t serve you anymore.

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Conclusion

Decluttering doesn’t have to be perfect—or stressful. Start where you are, work with what you’ve got, and remember to laugh along the way. Life’s messy, but your space doesn’t have to be. So grab a trash bag, pour yourself a cold drink (hey, hydration matters), and let’s get to simplifying!

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Ready to transform your space? Check out Zibayi for more sassy tips and guides on simplifying your life without losing your mind (or your jollof).